Space & Astronomy/Space and Astronomy (October 1993).iso/mac/TEXT/SPACEDIG/V08/V8_257.TXT

Internet Message Format | 1991-07-08 | 15KB

From ota Sun Jun 19 03:06:33 1988
Received: by angband.s1.gov id AA01900; Sun, 19 Jun 88 03:06:13 PDT
    id AA01900; Sun, 19 Jun 88 03:06:13 PDT
Date: Sun, 19 Jun 88 03:06:13 PDT
From: Ted Anderson <ota>
Message-Id: <[e-mail]>
To: [e-mail]
Reply-To: [e-mail]
Subject: SPACE Digest V8 #257

SPACE Digest                                      Volume 8 : Issue 257

Today's Topics:
           Ruskies find Heaven to the left of Pluto
             dialing for dollars
               Re: Astronaut selection
         Re: Ruskies find Heaven to the left of Pluto
          NASA news - SN 1987A nova briefing
           NASA news - USA-Japan talks re. Station
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: 23 May 88 14:55:58 GMT
From: mcvax!ukc!strath-cs!glasgow![e-mail]  (Mr Jack Campin)
Subject: Ruskies find Heaven to the left of Pluto

First Hitler on the moon, and now this ...
Front page story from the Sunday Sport, 22 May 1988.

[For US readers: the Sunday Sport is basically a tits and bums paper, with
more pages taken up with classified ads for soft porn phone services than
anything else. This issue also claimed that mermaids exist, on the alleged
say-so of a recently deceased satanist who is graphically described as having
had sex with one (covered in batter). The last issue I saw gave space to a
press release from Lyndon Larouche's Fusion Energy Foundation about the USSR
having microwave lasers that could cook NATO soldiers' brains like hardboiled
eggs from thousands of miles away - it looks like they will print ANYTHING. If
you want to think something up and send it to them, their address is 50 Eagle
Wharf Road, London N1 7ED.

Unlike the people who posted the Hitler-on-the-moon story, I don't entirely
disapprove of the Sunday Sport. Compared with their closest competition -
Murdoch's viciously racist and union-bashing "Sun" and "News of the World" -
their innocuous sexual buffoonery is a model of responsible journalism.

Does anyone know who Andreas Resch and Kurt Rauer are, or where the Sport is
likely to have got this rather, er, unusual scoop from?]

After travelling through tunnel of light ...
SPACECRAFT TAKES PICTURES OF HEAVEN
SCENES MATCH DESCRIPTION OF LIFE-AFTER-DEATH
* EXCLUSIVE *

INCREDIBLE space pictures of HEAVEN were last night backed by the Vatican as
GENUINE.

As Church of England boss Robert Runcie pledged to look into the sensational
snaps of Paradise, allegedly taken by a space probe, the Pope's advisors
agreed they had to be possible proof of an after life.

"There must be something in them," confessed Pope John Paul's personal
spokesman on supernatural matters, Father Andreas Resch.

"We promise to analyse the pictures and give a proper explanation - we must
consider the camera never lies."

The pictures show a spectacular gateway into Heaven taken by a Soviet satel-
lite then smuggled out of the country and into the West. They later appeared
in America, backed by the sensational claims.

* Sensational *

Sunday Sport investigators were handed copies of the first ever views of the
Pearly Gates and then passed them on to Lambeth Palace.

Now Britain's spiritual leader Dr Robert Runcie has pledged a top level
probe into the amazing scenes which have sent church leaders into an
almighty flap.

The amazing pictures have been dubbed "the most fantastic Christian find
since the Turin shroud."

While churchmen from London and Rome study the astonishing evidence that
Heaven is left of the planet Pluto, shocked Russian defence chiefs, who
snapped them, are deparately ducking questions.

The Ruskies would only admit it was their galactic spy in the sky which
beamed back fantastic pictures of the Hereafter.

TURN TO PAGE 7 [where you find a picture of a satellite beside what looks
like the mouth of a sea squirt, and the rest of the story ...]

Their incredible scenes should have been burned by top KGB agents - but in-
stead the artist's impressions were smuggled out of the USSR for the whole
world to see.

Lambeth Palace, astounded by the fantastic frames that prove Heaven is for
real, is treating them with utmost respect.

"We are examining them - can you send us any more?" said a spokesman.

Embarrassed Ruskies who don't believe in God stumbled on the tremendous
tunnel of light, billions of miles from Earth, when they were probing life
on Pluto.

Last night they admitted instead of sending back scenes of the planet's
surface, the satellite went berserk and beamed back dozens of different
pictures of dazzling multi-coloured rings.

* Evidence *

"The pictures are remarkable in their similarity to what people have seen
during near death experiences," revealed Dr Kurt Rauer, Germany's best
astrophysicist.

"They are pictures of what many people who have been in that state would
describe as Heaven. I can say without doubt these are the most amazing
pieces of evidence seen by the Christian world since the Turin shroud."

Russian space experts could not believe their eyes when their computer
screens were suddenly invaded by an eerie green and yellow light.

They were expecting views of craters and clouds of gases - instead their
haywire metal spy sent back a live transmission of Heaven.

Those who glimsed [sic] the the extraordinary sight were left temporarily
blinded by the light.

And several others have had to seek top medical help because they have been
unable to cope with their earth shattering experience.

A spokesman from Moscow revealed that witnesses who saw the live pictures
burst into tears because the stunning sight overwhelmed them.

* Tunnel *

Yesterday Joan Phillips, who nearly met her maker when she drowned, said of
the remarkable photos: "They're just what I saw when I thought I was going
to die. When I felt myself going under the water, all I remember is a fant-
astic tunnel of light. I knew instinctively it was Heaven. These pictures
reminded me of that," added the 45-year-old of Southampton.

And Dr Sauer confirmed her beliefs.

* NEXT WEEK   Granny vice den exposed *



--
ARPA: [e-mail]       USENET: [e-mail]
JANET:[e-mail]      useBANGnet: ...mcvax!ukc!cs.glasgow.ac.uk!jack
Mail: Jack Campin, Computing Science Dept., Glasgow Univ., 17 Lilybank Gardens,
      Glasgow G12 8QQ, SCOTLAND     work 041 339 8855 x 6045; home 041 556 1878

------------------------------

Date: 27 May 88 18:53:24 GMT
From: voder!apple![e-mail]  (Grady Ward)
Subject: dialing for dollars

Recently on the net I've seen a few messages asking for money.  The
senders supply such worthy reasons as education, feeding a starving
sister, and so on.

Taking advantage of this trend, I would like to ask you all for money,
too.

      Of course, I do not need it.  Apple Computer is a wonderful
employer; I have a very good salary, two-digit profit sharing, and an
excellent stock option.  I am happily married to a wonderful
woman, Felicity, a Stanford graduate with a Masters in Horticulture.
Less than a year ago, I founded a Hi-IQ club which now has over 130
members around the world, including Marilyn vos Savant and
Christopher Harding, individuals recognized by the popular press as
having the highest IQ's in the world.  I write essays and fiction for
various publications.  I am 6'1" with blond hair and blue eyes and
good health.  My future prospects look great.

     But I want to have more fun.  And I'll even give you something for
your money.  After everyone has sent me money, I will promise to
have as much imaginative fun with it as I possibly can.  Furthermore,
after I do, I will send everyone who has contributed to Grady's
Fun(d) a letter describing exactly how I "spent" my time.

So, you can be the keystone of my summer blowout, or you can
press "N" and go out for another desultory pizza tonight.  Just fold a
twenty dollar bill in a sheet of paper with your return address and
send to:

Grady's Fun(d)
380 N. Bayview Avenue
Sunnyvale, CA  94086

It's going to be *party* time!

------------------------------

Date: 28 May 88 06:50:08 GMT
From: sonia![e-mail]  (Eric Behr)
Subject: Re: Astronaut selection

[e-mail] (Paul A. Flaherty) writes:
 >Um, why does Stanford show up twice in that list?
Surprise, surprise:
=============================================================================
You have received a message from NASA:
======
Thanks for catching the error.  Eight astronauts have graduated from Stanford.
 The document is an update of an old NASA Facts booklet that shows seven
Stanford graduates.  Guess when JSC updated the document they missed a
duplication.  I'll pass the word along.

Bill Anderson
MSFC Public Affairs
======
=============================================================================
                                                       Eric

------------------------------

Date: 27 May 88 21:14:04 GMT
From: cfa![e-mail]  (Steve Willner)
Subject: Re: Ruskies find Heaven to the left of Pluto

In article <[e-mail]>, [e-mail] (Mr
Jack Campin) writes:
> Front page story from the Sunday Sport, 22 May 1988.
> SPACECRAFT TAKES PICTURES OF HEAVEN
> SCENES MATCH DESCRIPTION OF LIFE-AFTER-DEATH

[Contents of ...err...interesting article deleted]

> "The pictures are remarkable in their similarity to what people have seen
> during near death experiences," revealed Dr Kurt Rauer, Germany's best
> astrophysicist.

> Does anyone know who Andreas Resch and Kurt Rauer are...

It's not at all clear how one would determine who is the "best
astrophysicist" in any category, but I wonder if Dr Kurt Rauer
exists.  No person named Rauer is listed in the International
Astronomical Union directory, nor did any Rauer publish any articles
in either the main European or the main US journal in 1986 (the
latest year for which I have indices).

> The amazing pictures have been dubbed "the most fantastic Christian find
> since the Turin shroud."

This part of the story may well be true.  (Recall that the earliest
written reference to the Shroud declares it to be a fake.)
--
Steve Willner            Phone [phone]         Bitnet:   willner@cfa
60 Garden St.            FTS:      830-7123           UUCP:   willner@cfa
Cambridge, MA 02138 USA                 Internet: [e-mail]

------------------------------

Date: 28 May 88 16:16:14 GMT
From: sonia![e-mail]  (Eric Behr)
Subject: NASA news - SN 1987A nova briefing

I am crossposting this to sci.astro in the hope that that group
deals with "..nomy", not "..logy" (these days, you never know).
Needless to say, I'm not a subscriber.

=============================================================================

NOTE TO EDITORS: NASA TO CONDUCT SUPERNOVA 1987A SCIENCE BRIEFING

May 26, 1988


     NASA will conduct a press briefing to present major
scientific findings about the SN 1987A supernova at the NASA
Headquarters 6th floor auditorium, 400 Maryland Ave., S.W., at 1
p.m. EDT, June 2, 1988.

     Presentations will be made by NASA and NASA-sponsored
university scientists whose experiments have flown aboard
aircraft, balloons or sounding rockets in the past year and will
include supernova satellite observations.

     The formal presentation will be made by the following
scientists:

o Dr. David Helfand, Columbia University:  overall scientific
  approach;

o Dr. Robert Kirshner, Harvard-Smithsonian Center for
  Astrophysics:  ultraviolet and visible light findings;

o Dr. Harvey Moseley, NASA Goddard Space Flight Center:
  infrared findings;

o Dr. Tom Prince, California Institute of Technology:
  gamma-ray findings;

o Dr. Stan Woosley, University of California, Santa Cruz:
  theoretical work and overall scientific findings.

     Presenters will employ a variety of graphic materials to
illustrate precisely what is currently believed to happen when a
star goes supernova.  This will include video animation sequences
of the supernova.

     The briefing will be available on NASA Select television
and questions will be taken from participating NASA centers.

=============================================================================
                                                       Eric

------------------------------

Date: 28 May 88 06:55:43 GMT
From: sonia![e-mail]  (Eric Behr)
Subject: NASA news - USA-Japan talks re. Station

=============================================================================

NASA/JAPAN NEGOTIATORS COMPLETE NEGOTATIONS ON STATION AGREEMENTS

May 27, 1988

RELEASE: 88-70


     Negotiators from NASA and the Government of Japan have
reached agreement in substance on the text of a memorandum of
understanding (MOU) for cooperation in the detailed design,
development, operation and utilization of the permanently-manned
civil Space Station.  The Japanese Science and Technology Agency
will serve as NASA's counterpart in implementing this MOU.

     The Space Station is an international cooperative effort
involving Canada and the European Space Agency, as well as
Japan.  This space venture is the largest cooperative civil
science and technology project ever undertaken.  Negotiations on
the technical and programmatic framework between NASA and the
partners have been going on for over 2 years.

     In addition to the MOU, the participating governments have
nearly reached agreement in substance on a multilateral
intergovernmental agreement (IGA) which will provide a policy and
legal framework for the MOU.

     After reaching agreement on the texts of the MOU and the
IGA, the negotiators on both sides will submit the two texts to
their respective governments for consideration in accordance with
their separate internal procedures.  In the U.S., both agreements
will be reviewed by the Executive Branch and the Congress.

     Under the terms of the new MOU, Japan will provide the
Japanese Experiment Module (JEM) -- a permanently attached,
pressurized laboratory module which includes an exposed facility
and an experiment logistics module.  The pressurized portion of
the JEM will provide a shirt-sleeve environment for the Space
Station crew to perform research activities.  The JEM's exposed
facility will be used for scientific observations, Earth
observation, communications, advanced technology development and
other activities requiring direct exposure to space.  The
experiment logistics module, which will provide transportation
and storage of logistics items, will be transported to the
Station by the Space Shuttle.

     Japan's participation in the Space Station program resulted
from an invitation issued by President Ronald Reagan in 1984.
NASA and Japan entered into a memorandum of understanding for the
definition and preliminary design phase of the Space Station
program in March 1985, and have been working together on the
Space Station program since that time.

=============================================================================
                                                       Eric

------------------------------

End of SPACE Digest V8 #257
*******************